Congratulations! What a time for you! There are so many decisions to make, so many things to do- it’s our hope that our meetings will be a break from the chaos about you!
Our first meetings
This is the getting to know you part of our journey, as we fill out what are called the Preliminary Interrogatory forms, what we like to call the Green Sheets. The questions we ask will help us figure out what additional paperwork we need to accomplish the task of preparing you for marriage and all that. Some answers will lead us to what we call “impediments”; but don’t be put off by the word; they are simply situations that we need to address right off the bat and take care of. Some impediments refer to cases such as the bride or groom not being Catholic or such. A brief form and affirmation of faith- by the Catholic member only- sent to the Archdiocese for approval is all that will probably be needed here. We will meet regularly with you to plan your ceremony and get you ready; this may be the only part of this entire enterprise where you have a voice.
Pre-Cana Classes
This is essential for your preparation, so you guys need to go. Don’t worry about this being some boring session with some old priest going on and on for hours about blah, blah, blah. This is an opportunity to talk about issues of marriage and life together led by married couples who will speak about their relationship and how they find God in it. There are classes all over the area, just call the contact person (very early- lots of people want to get married every year!) and they’ll set you up.
Another Parish
Perhaps you grew up in a parish that has closed. You are welcome here at St. James- let us help prepare you as best we can- we are sure that you will find a great community. Perhaps you belong to another parish and wish to be married here. You may find us asking a few questions about why you’re here- it’s not that we don’t want you to be married here- it’s key for us (and you guys) that we clarify the correct reasons, and follow protocol. It’s very important, if it’s at all possible, that you marry in the church you call your own or plan to make your own. We may ask for a letter of permission from the pastor of your parish. Perhaps you have a priest or deacon you would prefer to do the honors- we’re delighted to accommodate, as long as we are clear on who is doing the preparation. If you are out of state, we still can find a way; a priest or deacon in the parish where you reside can prepare you for your wedding and send us the information (do him a favor and send him in a thank you note, if you know what I mean). Keep us updated on when you’ll be in town- we do want to meet you before the big day and make sure our stuff is in order.
The hills are alive….
We are blessed with very talented musicians in our parish, led by our director, Peter Moore. He can be reached at (978) 530-1062. Our parish soloist is Andrea Schwartz, who can be reached at (978) 618-3955. They’re very talented and very nice people. Keeping this in mind, regardless of your decision to utilize their talents or bring in your own folks, they are to be paid by you guys, for this is their work. Please contact Peter ASAP to meet to discuss music. Some people have a favorite song that they’d like to use at their wedding- well, certain music is, well, hmm, inappropriate for a ceremony such as this. Let Peter guide you through the music selection process. You may be surprised at the options!
Now, a word from our sponsor….
The offering we ask for St. James parishioners is $200, for non-parishioners we ask $300.
You oughta be in pictures….
Still and video photographers are welcome, but it is VERY important that they speak to the priest or deacon BEFORE the ceremony. It helps A LOT if the photographer is familiar with the Catholic wedding, knowing when, how, where and why to keep a respectful distance. Please encourage your guests not to take their own pictures; it is VERY distracting.
Flower folks would be wise to contact the church before their arrival, to get our signals straight.
Bring these to the rehearsal: Marriage License, offering for the church, and the unity candle. After the ceremony, get someone to take the candle - every church has a few of these babies left behind.
Make sure to get family & friends in on this- as readers (make sure they get the texts nice and early), gift bearers, servers, Eucharistic ministers, even musicians- with Peter’s help, of course. Every family has its share of hams- the more involved, the more memories, the happier for everyone! Please get children involved- they’re not only fun to watch, they make everything all the more memorable.
If you have a favorite text that isn’t from the Bible that you’d like to have read, or a cool symbol you’d like to use, please tell the priest or deacon early on and get his OK. We’re good guys, but we do have rules to follow.
If you would like to remember the names of deceased loved ones at the wedding, please don’t be shy. Bringing their names into the celebration won’t make everyone sad; it will give great comfort that those we remember are thought of with love, gratitude and joy!
Every wedding party has a party animal or two.
As much as we all enjoy a good time, we have a simple request; to encourage those who tend to be well, over-enthusiastic to remember that we are in a church and we need to keep an atmosphere of reverence. Thank you.
The rehearsal is an important preparation for the wedding; please make sure everyone is on time for it; it’s a good way to make sure that everyone knows how to get to the church and where to go in it. Having the readers at the rehearsal is helpful; it gives them a chance to be comfortable at the lectern. It takes about 40-45 minutes to run a rehearsal. Confessions after are a good option.
The groom and his party should arrive 30 minutes before the ceremony to set up - the bride won’t be late- will she???
